do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
