how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
