so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
