Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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