How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
