She is in my trunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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