What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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