i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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