I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
