mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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