my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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