please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
