why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
