No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
