He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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