saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
