we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
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Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.