when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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