In the future we'll all be gay
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
