Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Two words: nipple clamps
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