I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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