my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
