If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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