sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
