I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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