Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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