Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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