Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I need a hoe opinion
go on
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
