No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
