What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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