Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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