Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Come on in and take your pants off
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