arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
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you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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