we're blogging at a bar
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
