I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Help me help you realize you are a moron
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
