We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
