I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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