HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
