So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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