my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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