thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
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If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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