Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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