I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
