Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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