I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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