Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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