He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Boobs speak an international language.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
