I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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