got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
