look no pants
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Houston, we have a squirter
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
