bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
