your parents love me but you hate me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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