just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
two words: eviction party
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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