i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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