I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
